When Control Enters Your Room Uninvited

Murtaza Moiz

This is right now position
of her dressing table
where clearly on the left-hand side
of the dresser, shown polyethene 
which has all the receipts 
Right now, I’m sitting on my bed.

In front of me is the same dressing table that has been there for years. The mirror is slightly dull, the surface cluttered—not just with items, but with reminders. On the left side, there’s a polyethene bag. Inside it are Madiha’s medical receipts—the very first doctor visits, prescriptions like D-Max, everything carefully kept… yet carelessly placed.

And that’s exactly what defines what I’m going through.

Things are done—but not owned.
Responsibilities exist—but accountability doesn’t.

And somehow, in the end, it all circles back to me.

This Is Not Parenting

What I am experiencing right now is not guidance. It is not concern. And it is definitely not parenting.

It is control—layered, indirect, and calculated.

At present, I am being pushed into a situation where:

  • I cannot question
  • I cannot correct
  • I cannot even point out something as basic as organization or responsibility

Because the moment I do, the narrative flips.

Yesterday was proof of that.

I raised my concerns—not in aggression, but in desperation. I involved Madiha’s father and her brother because I genuinely felt that I needed mediation. A neutral ground. Someone who could bring balance.

Because mediators are supposed to calm situations—not turn them into interrogations.

But instead of resolution, I found myself being cornered.

And the same wife—for whom I stood my ground, for whom I absorbed pressure, for whom I chose respect over submission—was the one raising her voice at me.

That moment said more than words ever could.

The Game Being Played

This is not random. This is a pattern.

A very dangerous one.

I am being placed in a position where:

  • I am expected to stay silent
  • I am expected to tolerate mismanagement
  • I am expected to carry the blame when things go wrong

Even right now, as I sit here, I can clearly see that bag of receipts. I know if tomorrow something is needed from it and it’s not found, the question won’t be “why wasn’t it organized?”

The question will be:
“Tum ne dekha kyun nahi?”

This is the game.

You are denied authority…
but held fully responsible.

You are not allowed to lead…
but blamed when direction is missing.

Where This Leads If It Doesn’t Stop

If I allow this to continue—just to keep peace, just to avoid arguments—then I already know where this ends.

  • I will lose my voice completely
  • My role in my own marriage will become symbolic, not real
  • Respect—both self-respect and from my wife—will erode silently
  • Every future issue will follow the same template: blame me, silence me, move on

And one day, I will wake up in a life where I exist—but don’t matter.

That is not a future I am willing to accept.

The Cost of Standing vs The Cost of Staying Silent

I understand something very clearly now.

Standing up has a cost.
You get labeled. You get misunderstood. You get resisted.

But staying silent has a bigger cost.

You lose yourself.

And I am already seeing glimpses of that loss.

A Hard Truth About Engagement

This might sound harsh, but it needs to be said.

When a person has no meaningful engagement, no constructive outlet, no sense of responsibility beyond control—they start interfering in other people’s lives.

And interference slowly turns into manipulation.

Because controlling others becomes their only sense of relevance.

But someone else’s life is not a playground.

A marriage is not a system you experiment on.

And a man’s integrity is not something you slowly dismantle just to prove authority.

Where I Stand

I am not perfect. I am not claiming to be right in everything.

But I know this much:

I am being pushed into a structure where I am losing control over my own life while being held responsible for everything within it.

And that contradiction cannot continue.

This is not about winning an argument.
This is about stopping a pattern.

Because if it is not stopped now—right here, in this room, in front of this dressing table, with these small but telling details—

Then tomorrow, it won’t just be about receipts in a plastic bag.

It will be about a life completely out of my hands.

And that is something I refuse to let happen.

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I deleted my inDrive ID

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Had to Do It! There are moments when you don't really want to react. You simply have to. Not because you want sympathy. Not because you want to portray yourself as a victim. And certainly not because you believe you are always right. Sometimes you react because something bigger than the incident itself bothers you. For me, this particular incident with a client and inDrive became one of those moments. The issue was not simply about a ride. The issue was about how quickly a person can be labelled, how quickly a complaint can become a conclusion, and how easily the person on the weaker side is expected to accept that conclusion without being properly heard. And that brings me to a much bigger problem in Pakistani society. The Convenient Philosophy of “Customer Is Always Right” We have imported a corporate slogan and somehow converted it into a social law: Customer is always right. No. A customer can be right. A customer can also be wrong. A rider can be right. A rider can also be wro...