Control, Conflict, and Psychological Pressure: A First-Person Account of Family Dynamics, Autonomy, and Resistance

Usually for someone who is without job, joining a new job is supposed to be great feat., but for me, someone who is getting humiliated not only by my mom but also through my wife, this job joining is my escape, although 12 am to 8 am, but at least I would be away from home till that time, this is how my mom has ruined my life, just because she wants to impose herself on my family so that she could get validation from her superiors that my mother's son and his wife act, look and behave just like her, I do not want to get into mess, but when my mom saw, that I am resisting her, she is trying to impose the same through my wife, as she knew I will NEVER say no to her.

☢️Exploitation through my wife

I always get abused by my mom, that I get you married, now listen through me, don't you dare say no to me,

I remember one single incident October 2023, when my wife wasn't conceiving baby, my mom expected that I will dare not to say no her, but when she said that she would like to take my wife to doctor, later on Hakeem and later her Maulvi Sahab, she was in expectations that I will never say no to her, I knew that it'd humiliate her dignity and respect,

⏱ During my marriage time

I confess my parents did my marriage, because at that time I was not earning much, that is why my parents DID support me in my marriage, I will never deny this reality, but it was my first interaction of her inhumane behavior to me, where mothers are supposedly caring, but at that time, I saw selfish mode when instead of 10 cards, I only got 2 cards, and that's why only my Operation Manager in KIA (Korangi Industrial Area branch) of BOP came in my marriage.

🔁At the time when my wife wasn't conceiving baby, my mom showed same inhumane behavior/treatment to me and my wife

I am rightly mentioning this, because my mom was so pressurizing me, that I had decided to live in rent, but those four months Allah listened to me, within 4 months my wife conceived baby, I just worked on her mental peace and relaxed her, nothing extraordinary; but even in that scenario, where four months ago made life so miserable for me and my wife that we were deciding to live in rent. I did this because I didn't want her confidence to be shatter indefinitely, because my mother was planning to introduce her to her own Maulvi Sahab, whereas the kind of individual I am, I neither want complications in my life nor complicating life for others.

👶🏻After baby

She is a grandmother to my child, but the way brainwashed the same wife for whom she was narrowing her down to a bottleneck and it was me who stood with her, kept her confidence, respect and dignity intact, slowly started talking the way mom used to do, this is painful, because my mom has started her lethal way, because that woman who was making life miserable for her, now talking her style, and whatever she says, my wife starts implementing on me,

Initially I hushed the thoughts but later on noticing changes in her behavior and analyzing what she is implementing on me through my wife, yesterday too, I had to take her to doctor for routine check-up because already she has been treating me like I am her butler, and when I am noticing something irrelevant, and it clearly showed that her confidence was because of backing of my mom,

🔜For now

I am noting a complete nexus where my mom wants to patrol me through my wife, and instead just like herself, she is turning my wife like her, this is the standard of her motherhood, where instead of making life eased for her son, she is so blind in turning both me and my wife following her traits, which leads to nasty outcomes,

👴🏻 Can't these Baby Boomers think that

We Millennials are also living beings, we have emotions and sentiments, and hence some breathing space HAS to be given to them, instead of turning us like them, they just want to win against younger generations, 

🚫 Never My Wife Ever

1. Taunted me what I eat, today she did so
2. Clearly said that this is my father's house is not mine, whereas my father clearly said that تمہارا باپ زندہ ہے , but this tone of my wife resembled my mom's tone, how she ridiculed me in front of everyone else.
3. Today I felt numb when my wife looked at me for console when injection on her hips, but I had to look strict, because just like my mom insulting my sentiments and emotions publicly, my wife had done the same, and same flash back in my eyes, where my mom stood between me and my room's door, as I was planning to take shower hence was in showering gown, first she indicated me to cover my chest, I bluntly said to her that complete what you want to say else wait till I come out within 10 minutes, at that time she insisted she wants to talk than-and-there, and then she asked for my permission which I politely denied.
4. It hurt her EGO.

Now my wife killing my integrity and power to say no, where according to Beneficiary Management mechanism, my mom is ultimate beneficiary.

🤕Today it hurt me when saw her looking at me for console, but today I controlled but when I was driving back to home, my eyes were moist, thank god I was having specs hence none noticed, but it was to make her recognize importance of husband, such husband who possessively care for her.