From Banking Sector to Surveillance Department
A transitional format for me, although where I am working, if in Red-Yellow-Green gradience, age-wise I am between Red and Yellow period.
Context
Furthermore, I have been earning more than what I was getting in the banking sector, just because I was not from their tribe and I don't believe in turning "Kapoor Sahab", instead just like my father calls me "a bookish individual", whereas I follow the books instead of creating my own legacy.
Even at BTMC
This is why I am more suitable for such job, instead of working in the banking sector, in ~37000 PKR be it Cash Officer along with Acting Operations Manager, whereas here there is a culture that once your slot ends, you leave immediately, whereas in the Banking Sector, I used to enter the branch 8:30 am and leaving after 7 pm at maximum, all for ~37000 PKR in 2026? Even when I used to go to Shah Faisal Colony branch, I used to reach 8:10 am due to distance issue.
The Deeper Problem
Here too, my job starts 2:00 pm, but I reach approximate 1:15 pm because I have to offer Zohar prayers and relaxing after 40 minutes of continuous riding from Gulshan-e-Maymar to Hill Park Area near Shahrah-e-Faisal, I ride bike, I do not ride Dr. Emmet Brown's DeLorean, hence remember that aspect, else individuals reading might say we reach such distance within 20 minutes, آپ کو یہ ۲۰ منٹ مبارک ہو، مگر میں ان ۴۰ منٹ میں خوش ہوں, because this is major problem, where I am happy with my achievement, I do not think what others are doing. This is the major problem with us Pakistanis, we do not view our own faults but instead look into what the other party is doing!
Personal Observation
The issue within my family, in my view, stems from the societal obsession with validation and conformity. It explains why I have chosen to oppose both my mother and my wife on certain decisions. They expect me to fit into a mould that I fundamentally reject.
At present, I am going through a difficult financial phase. During such times, I believe a family should become a source of support and emotional strength. Instead, my experience has been the opposite. I perceive the pressure placed upon me as making my financial position even more fragile, leaving me with little room except to accept decisions that are not my own. My wife has consistently aligned herself with my mother's position, reinforcing that pressure rather than questioning it independently.
Traditionally, a mother is expected to safeguard the dignity, self-respect, and confidence of her only son. My experience has been markedly different. Rather than feeling protected, I have felt that my self-respect has been repeatedly undermined. Whenever I resist or question these decisions, my disagreement is labelled as بدتمیزی, while the underlying concerns I raise remain unaddressed.
From my perspective, this is not about guidance; it is about control. The expectation appears to be that I should stop questioning, stop reasoning, and simply comply. I cannot accept that principle. I am already facing one battle financially; I refuse to create another by surrendering my ability to think independently.
The greatest difficulty for me is not merely the financial hardship itself. It is the feeling that, while trying to recover, I am also struggling to preserve my dignity and self-respect within my own family. That is the burden I carry every day.
This naturally leads me to ask a question that I believe every relationship should confront: when pressure is repeatedly placed upon another person, who accepts responsibility for the consequences of that pressure? This is what my parents are doing to my family, so that disgracing me that ہمارے نقش قدم پر نہیں چلا جس کی وجہ سے یہ حال پر پہنچا this is their attitude, whereas I got a baby after 7 years, whereas they were willing to introduce پیر فقیر into my life, for which I retaliated, and this is the retaliation my mother wants to kill, and sorry to say, I have got a wife who is exploiting me, I don't know where in the world in Allah, isn't Allah viewing how these females trying to mould me as if I am a tamed poodle?
Why This Matters - Goldfish thinking
Taming me means;
- I do not QUESTION their actions,
- While I am agreeing with mom, I have to agree with my wife,
- Such things look cool in reels but not in real world.
- What mindset is silently becoming normalized?
The Pakistani Contradiction
My shift ends at 12:00 a.m., and by approximately 12:15 a.m. I leave the Hill Park area. Before heading home, I usually search for at least two ride-hailing trips so that the earnings cover my motorcycle's petrol expense. It is not merely an additional source of income; it is part of how I manage my daily transportation costs.
However, the ongoing rainy season has changed that equation. Rain inevitably exposes mechanical weaknesses in a motorcycle, and mine is no exception. After completing the electrical repairs last month, the next priorities are the seat assembly and the jumps (suspension components). Until my salary is credited—my "green day"—those repairs must wait.
This is the reality of financial recovery. Every expense demands prioritization. Instead of spending impulsively or pursuing social validation, I am directing my earnings toward maintaining the very machine that enables me to work, commute, and continue rebuilding my financial stability.
Gardening
I am going to take Gardening to the next level as I am planning to purchase some Saplings, suitable for Karachi atmosphere so that other than the Cheeku tree, we might have more trees, because this is where I want to keep myself thinking towards, instead of this Megalomaniac mindset, because this is something I won't tolerate, and for it, I would have to be financially strong at first.
Opened a Savings account
I recently opened a savings account offering an 11% annual profit. My initial plan is intentionally modest. I intend to deposit 12,000 PKR over the course of a year, which, based on the current profit rate, should generate approximately 1,320 PKR annually—around 110 PKR per month. The amount itself is not my primary objective; the discipline of building a financial foundation is.
Rather than spending those returns, I plan to reinvest them into my Al Hamra Daily Dividend Mutual Fund. Since both accounts operate without ATM access, withdrawing funds is intentionally inconvenient. I consider that an advantage rather than a limitation because it encourages long-term investing instead of impulsive spending.
This approach is based on experience rather than theory. I have already seen my investment in the Al Hamra Daily Dividend Fund grow from approximately 700 PKR to around 1,500 PKR. That experience has reinforced my belief that consistent investing, even with small amounts, is more valuable than waiting until I have a large sum to begin.
This is the financial direction I intend to pursue after receiving my salary. My goal is not to become wealthy overnight; it is to develop financial stability through consistency, patience, and disciplined decision-making.
Final Reflection
This is the direction in which I choose to move. Instead of wasting my energy cursing my circumstances, I have decided to invest that energy in rebuilding my life. My focus is on financial recovery, disciplined decision-making, and creating a future based on my own principles rather than chasing social validation or falling victim to FOMO.
I have already witnessed where a life driven by comparison and social approval can lead. Having observed those consequences, why would I knowingly repeat the same mistakes? Am I expected to abandon my own judgment simply because others believe their path is the only acceptable one?
That is the contradiction I continue to struggle with. Rather than encouraging independent thinking, I often feel pressured to conform, even when I believe that conformity will lead me in the wrong direction. I cannot accept that. My responsibility is to learn from what I have witnessed, not to imitate it.
My life will not be built upon comparison, societal approval, or the fear of being different. It will be built upon patience, accountability, financial independence, and the courage to think for myself. If that means refusing to follow a path that I sincerely believe is harmful, then that is a decision I am prepared to stand by.
Sometimes the biggest collapse does not happen economically or politically — it happens when societies slowly stop valuing sincerity, thoughtfulness, and emotional integrity.
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